Assalamualaikum wbt
Have you ever thought about how some people are so influential to those around them while others have to try quite hard to get others to even see let alone hear them?
have you ever thought and pondered why they are like that? or how they become that way?
I've been observing for a while now. unintentionally I think. but, those observations-yg-tidak-disengajakan kinda gave me some answers. or at least, a lightbulb's been turned on in my head and alhamdulillah I see a link between my musings. It may not be the only correlation, mind you. But, it is certainly one of them.
Everyone wants their voice to be heard, no? but not everyone gets it. I had a lesson in theory of knowledge during kmb days. It was a life changing moment. Things that are able to stay for a long time in your head and change you are definitely coined life changing right? I would assume so.
So, my teacher said, you have to listen to what others are saying. It is not enough to just hear. listen. really listen. pay attention to what they are saying and never think that you are too good or good enough to listen to something. -It was 2 years ago. of course I've altered what teacher said in my own way-
and since then. alhamdulillah. I tried to do that. well, that's one human down. how about the rest? Winning hearts and changing minds is a pretty tough game I tell you. Things could get ugly.
So here's me trying to make things a little less ugly and a tad more prettier. See, I used to be able to be a good listener. because for one, I just didn't like to talk about my problems so I would let the other person keep on rambling with me nodding a few times along the way and going ohhh..or ahhh...or mannn..== and when the other person is done, she'd be like, but don't you have any problems? you know you can tell me as well. and I'd be 'no...I'm fine. I just don't think about my problems so it doesn't become a problem for me.' hmmpph. naive that I was. but I must say I miss the old me. naive or whatever, at least I was a good and attentive listener really listening to another's problem and wanting to help. T_T
anyways, as I grew up, I learnt to have a stand for myself. I learnt to become not so agreeable to everything and when I've made up my mind that something is a No; it's a No. when that happens, it's hard to listen to what anyone else is saying then.
when I reflect back upon myself and how I've turned out to be now, I realise I don't even try to follow what the prophet saw did anymore. We all know what a great listener the Prophet saw is. How he listened to his sahabah's..how he always looked at a person in the face when the other is talking..how he didn't just turn his face back to look at another while conversing, but he turned his whole body around to face the one who's talking..how he made every single person who talked to him feel loved and that they were special in his eyes...and truly, I don't doubt at all that the prophet did love every one of them...
how could they not love him? Muhammad bin Abdullah saw is an exemplary figure. The most exemplary figure ever to have walked the grounds of the earth.
and where do I stand in comparison to the prophet? ahaha..sarcasm at its best. but please. don't kill the hope. hope that you improve day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. inshaAllah. have faith. Allah swt will help those who choose to turn to Him.
I haven't got to my observation yet. Here goes.
Bringing about change to one's family or friends or those within your circle is an intriguing thing. Exciting and thrilling especially if you truly believe that this is The Secret of the century that everyone's been dying to know of and you managed to get a hold of it!
but as it turns out, you weren't a born speaker. not a born advocate of change. not a born talented and highly influential and most respected person by many. sigh.
what do you do? keep the secret to yourself? give up? save yourself the job of trying and making an effort?
Roll eyes please.
you can't be kidding me! why be a sore winner by yourself? you may be on your way to becoming a sore loser soon if you don't get your head straight and think right.
secrets aren't meant to be a secret forever. some secrets are actually meant to be shared with the world. all in due time. =DD ah the irony of everything. you're a good judge of things. think it out for yourself.
so. observations.
I've come to see that regardless of what a bad speaker a person may be, how much stammering and stuttering goes on..all that doesn't really matter as long as you have a healthy, an absolutely healthy (!) relationship with the one (s) you're trying to convey the message to.
it's like killing two birds with one stone? is that how the saying is? barbaric but true.
why? because these persons that you're trying to talk to..trying to share the secret to world success with..are people who love you regardless of how you may be. they love you. they care for you. they may even respect you to a certain degree..people like this will listen. you actually save time and a lot of energy by trying to capture their attention because all that is not needed. they already have their eyes fixed on you because they actually WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY.
it's easier to get the message across eh?
and that's my observation for now. that a da'ie who wants to bring about change within his/ her family manages to do it much better when said da'ie has a functionally healthy relationship with his/her family. easy said. they're a family. a true family. when mum or dad asks the son/ daughter to do a favor, the kid will do it without much grumbling. now what sort of parent wouldn't want to listen attentively to what their precious son/ daughter is so excited to tell them about? even if they have their doubts on the matter, that wouldn't prevent them from not agreeing with you. they'd be all the more willing to investigate and find out the truth themselves.
but. if a son/ daughter doesn't have this healthy loving relationship going on with the family. I'm sorry to say this, but I think it would be best for the son/ daughter to start working on that first.
It would do you a great favour in the long run. and Allah swt would love you more for being obedient, loyal and loving soleh/ solehah kids to your parents. inshaAllah. once they see the change in you, they would want to listen to you. and once you have captivated their hearts once more (hehe..you already captivated their hearts once or twice when you were born you know. when you first opened your eyes. when you turned on your tummy and tried to get up and crawl. when you first started to take baby steps and walk towards your parents and say aaaahh. :D) then you grew up so fast that they didn't get to keep up with you and somehow..you found that there's a gap between you and them when that gap should have never been their in the first place. T_T
so, work on being a good son/daughter/sister/brother.
a fundamental key to living a sound and healthy life on this world for the benefit of the akhirat. an investment worth putting some real effort and time into wouldn't you say so? :)
It's all for Allah swt. it's all to earn a place for you and your family in Jannah. it's all for you and your family to be saved from the Hell fire. and definitely. it's all for you and your mum and your dad and your brothers and sisters and your whole family to meet Allah swt. finally. one day that will soon come. inshaAllah
and i'd like to add...that everything above, is for myself first. They say that writers write best what they experience themselves (has anyone ever said that before? don't care. it's true enough anyways.). and huuhh. well, I'm writing it for myself. T_T
halu ramadhan! it is great to see you this year. =D may we become better people. better abid's and khalifah's. ameen.
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