at 1.42 am

The thoughts in my head

It's sad when you actually resort to Google and searching for newspaper articles to see updates on what your dad's been doing.

It's sad when you think of the time gone by, and how different everyone is now.

It's sad when you feel useless at doing whatever you're doing and not becoming the best person you can be.

It's heartbreaking to think of how you weren't there when your sibling(s) grew up and now how there seems to be a huge distance between the two of you.

It's not so good to be pessimistic at times. But there's a rather fine line between being pessimistic and realistic I dare say..as like there's a fine line between being optimistic and overly idealistic.

But,

it's even more sad if you realise all this and yet, still won't budge to make an effort to fix things.

Time really doesn't wait for no one. The call of death doesn't heed to time nor plea as well. It'll be soon..when we're all gathered in front of Allah 'aza wa jal. and what will I say then when He questions me on what I have done with my time of youth? So many challenges. so little effort. O' Allah, give me strength to make things better..only by Your will can it happen.