may peace be upon you

writer's block~ 

writing for the sake of writing
writing to not lose out on skills
writing for daawah
writing..just because you never know how it may change a life..be it here..or the hereafter :) 

when you've accustomed yourself to certain mannerisms the way islam has taught you to do so, it feels awfully awkward to do something that differs from that. it's awkward when you see others in the same boat as you are but then, they go and do something that seems to not justify the principles you know they hold on to. 

i feel. a bit down and sick in the tummy. 

for assuming things especially. there's this video on youtube where aiman azlan talks about 70 excuses or something like that. Basically, the key message of that video was if you start to get mad at a person, think of 70 good things that the person has done. 70, is a lot. endless. :) I would use his advice in a slightly different way. the moment I start assuming things about people, istighfar and then I'd start thinking about the good deeds of the person. it helps. inshaAllah it'll help keep the heart clean and dirt-free. 

I feel sick in the tummy. when I think of myself. the countless times I've betrayed upon the principles I said I hold on to dearly. A brother in Islam previously mentioned, 'Islam won't be able to stand tall and established properly till the muslims, specifically da'i embrace the deen fully; till they are muslims through and through even when they are at work.' at work. at school. in college. hanging out with friends. at a conference, a tutorial, going out shopping, eating at a restaurant and the list goes on. sibghah. total immersion into the deen that Allah swt has chosen for us. 

I feel sick. betraying those principles. what good will it bring? temporary enjoyment? sigh
what will it actually lead up to? it'll cause people to be confused. 'hey, those muslims over there, they're saying they're doing dakwah, calling people to Allah swt and Islam..but you know what, I don't see the difference between us. I actually think at times, I'm more muslim that he/she is' ???!!!! *goes into shocked mode*

when you embrace your duties as a da'i, and no doubt every muslim is a da'i whether they like it or not..it's just nowadays we have to remind the muslims about it because we've all been victims of ghazwul fikr. anyways, upon embracing the duties of a da'i, there comes a point where you realise that first, you'll not be part of the norm anymore. you'll be..one of the ghuraba' (strangers) as islam in this era is deemed gharib (strange). you'll find yourselves suddenly feeling uncomfortable joining useless conversations that do not benefit you in any way especially your iman, that uneasy feeling when friends want to hang out with you at these dodgy places you once had no problems going to...but now suddenly you do..? 

there's a certain element to you now..and it makes you different. 

it makes you wonder if you're not different that the rest (different in a good way that is), then what were you doing all this time? and what do you think's going to happen if you keep this up? 

. . . 

It's a bit tergantung. My apologies for that

Allahu a'lam