Today and yesterday and the past few days before have seen this humble person typing away right this moment at her most vulnerable; what with signs of aging pfffftttt and exams and mostly, mostly...the short before-maghrib tazkirah we have every night.
Those short sessions were somewhat of an answer and a soother to both her questions and her worries. about loving Allah swt. being an abid, ibadurrahman. She realised most of her days flew by without so much love for Allah swt in her heart and actions; and yet, be it seen or not, Allah's love for her never seemed to diminished away (or so she would like to think). what more can one say about the One who lent her life, soul and iman for the past 22 years and 3 months?? is it not proof enough of Allah's bounty and mercy; of His willingness to still forgive despite the sins being done. the sins that must have even hurt Raqid and Atid while they were jotting down the deeds, both good and bad
فَبِأَىِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
Then which of the favours of your Lord would you deny?
Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?
Indeed, would you still deny His bounties?
Do not fail to ask for forgiveness. do not feel it's too late to prostrate down your forehead in sujood.. taubat..taubatan nasuha. while the doors of Allah's mercy is still open, it is never too late.
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